tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82855980581589290142024-03-05T20:27:21.698-05:00Random, Randomer, RandomestIf I think it, I might say it. If I say it, i will write it. Some photos, too.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-64461881452546058732015-08-28T14:12:00.000-04:002015-08-28T14:12:43.312-04:00Where's the comma?Angry man into his cell phone:<br />
<br />
Who do you think I am? Anthony Stupid?<br />
<br />
So who the hell is Anthony Stupid?kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-77829379755198743642015-08-27T15:38:00.001-04:002015-08-27T15:38:29.571-04:00Emergency notification absurdityI should've taken a picture.<br />
<br />
Engraved onto the push bar of the glass doors it said "for use in an emergency pull."<br />
<br />
So does that mean I can push when it's not an emergency?"kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-20240829436219436162015-07-27T15:25:00.001-04:002015-07-27T15:25:47.125-04:00I'm working on it but it's not done yetWorking title for a new laugh riot:<br />
<br />
Ron Konkoma meets Brewster North for a drink at the East Side Access Bar.<br />
<br />
It's all in jokes for the outbound commuter.<br />
<br />
Of course nowadays half of them are looking at their electronic devices and the other half are asleep.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-63144328825030444752013-04-23T14:38:00.001-04:002015-07-27T16:29:45.129-04:00Dogs and signs at rest stops on the Interstates<br />
Saw a sign at a rest stop on an Interstate in Connecticut this weekend:<br />
<br />
"Please no dogs inside"<br />
<br />
As if I want to please, or pleasure a dog inside or outside.<br />
<br />
This reminded me of one I saw on I-95 south of Bangor, ME:<br />
<br />
"No smoking dogs allowed"<br />
<br />
Actually, it was laid out thusly:<br />
<br />
NO<br />
SMOKING<br />
DOGS<br />
ALLOWED<br />
<br />
So, are non-smoking dogs allowed?<br />
<br />
<br />kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-42672555441593556542012-12-13T15:29:00.004-05:002012-12-13T15:29:32.906-05:00A thought on mortality and lifeLife is too short to waste it drinking bad beer, bad wine or bad whiskey. But spending time with bad women . . . ?kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-80687665547259603022012-11-02T12:11:00.002-04:002012-11-02T12:11:55.047-04:00Tea Party AtheistsYou know how they say there's no atheists in a foxhole? Well, there are no tea party republicans in office during a disaster - except for the ones whose heads are so far up their asses that they've forgotten what being human and humane is about.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-46972087467977437762012-11-02T10:46:00.001-04:002012-11-02T11:01:55.898-04:00Romney screwed by hurricane Sandy?<br />
When it came to Hurricane Sandy and its aftermath, Romney must be cursing up a storm. I can hear it now.<br />
<br />
"Why the ding dang dong did a storm like this have to happen a week before the election. There's not a fling flang fling thing I can do to look good, because I can't do a hing hang hong thing about it. I donate a bus full of canned goods and they tell me that nobody's electric can opener works. How were we supposed to think of that?"<br />
<br />
"All I can do is hope Obama pulls a George W. Bush."<br />
<br />
Obama might not be the greatest leader in the history of the world, but he isn't stupid enough to pull a George W. Bush. Hell, even George Bush isn't stupid enough to pull off <i>another</i> George W. Bush.<br />
<br />
As for Mr. Romney, the best he can come up with is to cut the national government out of the disaster relief chain and leave it to the states, and those who want to donate a few unnecessary cans of food to the cause when what's needed is hard, cold cash.<br />
<br />
http://takingnote.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/30/soup-charity-and-the-american-way/<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-89211621570518339082012-08-30T14:02:00.001-04:002012-08-30T14:02:50.065-04:00Random Headlines in Random Order Making Scary SenseThe three headlines appeared in the more news box in the center of the NYTimes.com home page a today. Read one after the other, they make their own story:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/31/world/americas/venezuela-to-investigate-report-that-miners-massacred-indians.html?hp" target="_blank">Venezuela Will Investigate Report of Massacre</a><br />
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/31/nyregion/yale-president-richard-levin-says-he-will-step-down.html?hp" target="_blank">Yale President Says He Will Step Down</a><br />
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/31/world/asia/afghan-soldier-kills-3-australian-service-members.html?hp?hp" target="_blank">5 Australian Troops Die in Afghanistan</a><br />
<br />
I am sure there is no link between these stories except they all occurred on the same day. Still, imagine this:<br />
<br />
The news that a massacre of miners in Venezuela causes the president of Yale U. to announce he's quitting. What did he have to do with the massacre. And was it his announcement or the massacre in Venezuela that led to the attack on Australian troops - rather than those of some other nationality?<br />
<br />
Informed people want to know. Or do they?<br />
<br />
I will not guarantee that clicking on the links will take you to the stories, but it might happen.<br />
kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-83129767095085108852012-08-24T14:39:00.000-04:002012-10-26T13:04:32.801-04:00what the internet is good for: VolapükHave you ever heard of a language called Volapük?<br />
<br />
Until today, I never heard of it and though I've heard of it now, I don't really give a damn about it. What I thought was interesting was how this "constructed language" claimed upwards of a million users - Wikipedia.org says "adherents" - in the late 19th Century, declined to about 20-30 by the beginning of this century, and has revived in the last decade, nearly tripling its users, most likely because they can find each other on the internet. <br />
<br />
Considering the numbers - that is roughly 90 adherents, it is noted in Wikipedia that there are approximately 119,000 articles in the Volapük Wikipedia, which ranks it 37th.<br />
<br />
So what's my point?<br />
That the internet helps preserve things that would otherwise have faded away.<br />
<br />
Maybe next time I'll tell you something you didn't know already.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-85250271790658722292012-06-20T14:26:00.000-04:002012-06-20T14:26:09.579-04:00Ambiguity a la carte, or who did the Panda shoot?Down at the bottom of the NYTimes.com web page was a photo of what looked like a tent full of stuff and the following lede:<br />
<br />
San Jose Stores Property of Homeless After Sweeps.<br />
<br />
Wow, how ambiguous can you get?kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-2842639104473674302012-06-20T09:47:00.001-04:002012-06-20T09:47:22.693-04:00occasion musing on email subject linesToday, catching up with the false positives - Postini flags roughly 20% of the newsletters and other legitimate emails as SPAM and no matter how often I try to train the program, the percentage remains about the same - I got to musing on subject lines.<br />
<br />
Here's an example: Learn more about our permanent hair loss solution.<br />
I said to myself, is this an ad for a depilatory? Certainly, the way it's phrased makes it seem like the product is meant to make sure hair you lose doesn't come back. I personally don't care to lose any hair.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-51071488950457156442012-04-24T09:56:00.001-04:002012-04-24T09:56:45.529-04:00Somebody ought to write a bookSome title I saw at <a href="http://posmanbooks.com/" target="_blank">Posman's Bookstore</a> in Grand Central yesterday struck me as very funny, because it wasn't a very interesting title. Of course I forgot that title but not the one that somebody ought to write:<br />
<br />
<b>Phrenology in the Age of Texting and Twitter: How to read the bumps you get on your head from pounding it with your smart phone after sending that stupid tweet or drunken text.</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
Maybe I'll get around to it someday.<br />
Nah, it's too much like beating your head against the wall.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-30991925613587797552012-04-19T11:36:00.001-04:002012-04-19T11:36:57.101-04:00Transformative food namesWhy eat a Philly Cheesesteak in NYC? Why not something new and high priced, like a Chili Feesteak (or Chilly Feesteak)?<br />
<br />
Ok, so NYC is known for cheesecake, which is not served by the slice but by the piece, as in "have a piece of cheesecake." I love a piece of cheesecake but today I'm in a different place and want a cheese of peacecake.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-48529877863296854112012-04-14T20:57:00.002-04:002012-04-14T20:57:42.266-04:00Fertilizer season - a very quick thoughtIn the film "Apocalypse Now," Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall) sniffs the air and says "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."<br />
<br />
Well, it's fertilizer season, and though I don't know if anyone's making a movie about the end of farming to be called "A-Crop-alypse Now" or such, but I can imagine a farmer wearing a hat of the same shape as Kilgore's, standing in the middle of his/her field on a cool, spring morning, sniffing the air and saying "I love the smell of manure in the morning."kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-73184025672549802592012-04-02T11:24:00.001-04:002012-04-02T11:24:08.933-04:00Wedding in GenevaBackstory:<br />
I was in an antiques market in Geneva NY this past Saturday. Six sisters were shopping for interesting things to wear to one of their daughter's upcoming big Long Island Wedding.<br />
<br />
I said "I don't believe in big weddings because then, no matter how things work out, you don't regret the wedding."kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-8342525836285050932012-03-29T11:59:00.001-04:002012-04-19T11:39:17.310-04:00If you didn't think of this, you should haveA fossil was recently discovered that's contemporaneous with Lucy, the famous, early hominid. You can read all about it in <a href="http://rdmag.com/News/2012/03/Life-Science-Evolution-Biology-Foot-find-shows-prehuman-walked-same-time-as-Lucy/" target="_blank">R&D Magazine online</a><br />
<br />
It is probable, from the article, that this specimen, when alive was not an <i>Australopithecus afarensis,</i> Lucy's species. Those responsible for naming species will come up with an appropriate scientific name. But for this individual, how about we call it Desi?kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-74814529139994781562012-03-23T18:57:00.001-04:002012-03-23T18:57:41.382-04:00Friendship - Edgar Guest meets reality<span style="font-size: large;">"I'd like to be the sort of friend<br />
that you have been to me . . ."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So if you don't mind, I'll take that knife.</span>kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-82627451628538558222012-03-22T20:36:00.003-04:002012-03-22T20:36:56.320-04:00Slice with a sliceThis just reached me from the <a href="http://boston.grubstreet.com/2012/03/pizza-vasectomy-promotion.html" target="_blank">Grub Street Boston blog: Urologists in Cape Cod</a> are offering free pizza with a vasectomy.<br />
<br />
Wait here while we slice the pepperoni.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-42451367381346932732012-03-22T10:10:00.004-04:002012-03-22T10:10:33.370-04:00Catching up with the newsSo what's up with the healthcare system in Venezuela? I heard that <a href="http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-03-17/chavez-returns-to-venezuela-after-cancer-surgery-in-cuba-1-.html" target="_blank">Chavez just got back from Cuba</a>, where he went to get his cancer surgery done.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-87069163169300611502012-03-21T18:59:00.002-04:002012-03-21T18:59:13.035-04:00What's in a state motto?Oregon state motto (translated):<br />
She flies with her own wings.<br />
<br />
Real life:<br />
The rest of us require chemical assistance.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-63293028971819577412012-03-13T14:37:00.001-04:002012-03-13T14:42:01.512-04:00A favorite MondegreenOne of my favorite lines from the film "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" isn't "I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges," though that is a great line.<br />
<br />
No, my favorite line is Humphrey Bogart's Fred C. Dobbs talking about being a baker. He says <a href="http://www.wavsource.com/snds_2012-03-11_1957258145407320/movie_stars/bogart/need_dough.wav" target="_blank">"I knead dough, and plenty of it."</a> (Click to hear him say it.)<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><span id="goog_879642249"></span><span id="goog_879642250"></span><br />
<br />
This sound clip is probably still under copyright. I claim fair use in linking to it.kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-13639969226839168812012-03-12T15:38:00.000-04:002012-03-13T10:12:02.223-04:00What do they do with the stuff they take out?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCUTj_hTkxTrT7Iqe5lcGc4kuyCIvxcbMpmwdfqWjSYyhHQb79jYtZoTNT8pGFypvNeBfpr2Ysu3ioRHJKrrHs-8RnMW4cMih1nnBIpfLZ7waZIW3g3nPayeD-LkM3OofxF56aL2LLmmG/s1600/gluten+free.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCUTj_hTkxTrT7Iqe5lcGc4kuyCIvxcbMpmwdfqWjSYyhHQb79jYtZoTNT8pGFypvNeBfpr2Ysu3ioRHJKrrHs-8RnMW4cMih1nnBIpfLZ7waZIW3g3nPayeD-LkM3OofxF56aL2LLmmG/s400/gluten+free.JPG" width="266" /></a></div>
I'm walking past this pizza joint on 4th Ave. downtown, and they got this sign outside the store. They make vegan pizza and they make <b>gluten free </b>pizza. I didn't have time to go in, but I was wondering: if I asked them to put some of the gluten they take out of the other pizzas on mine, could they? Would they? What do they do with the gluten they take out of gluten pizza?<br />
<br />kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-37059167778829189602012-03-10T08:05:00.000-05:002012-03-10T08:05:46.739-05:00The City That Never SleepsHere's the scenario:<br />
It's 4AM. You were out partying earlier and now you're home. You try to sleep but you just can't seem to drop off. You don't know what's wrong. You just toss and turn, get up, get a drink of water, go back to bed, turn and toss, get up and go into the bathroom. You turn on the light, look at yourself in the mirror. Gah! Your hair! What a friggin' mess! What are you going to do?<br />
<br />
Well, it's New York, the 24 hour hair and spa party to the rescue!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqGKMMNDW4OfuOZn9LgK9zzRUyc9K1IvxP8GQZEVX4WZei5tr-bqfoA7ENJuzFdzg2yE2XAZ6WiOTs6VkfmfDlYNiAT1TyqW4KA9V4Owj4ZhB07cwlv3XfI9_zKj_y_8X3Vgqli285-RJ/s1600/IMG_3862_hairparty.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCqGKMMNDW4OfuOZn9LgK9zzRUyc9K1IvxP8GQZEVX4WZei5tr-bqfoA7ENJuzFdzg2yE2XAZ6WiOTs6VkfmfDlYNiAT1TyqW4KA9V4Owj4ZhB07cwlv3XfI9_zKj_y_8X3Vgqli285-RJ/s320/IMG_3862_hairparty.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-77414731728248069392012-03-08T16:10:00.001-05:002012-03-08T16:10:53.458-05:00Grammar lessonI keep seeing this poster for Mia Hamm - <a href="http://kayester.blogspot.com/2012/02/street-corner-theater-spring-in-winter.html" target="_blank">you can see one here </a> - and every time I do I wonder why nobody ever mentions her grammatically correct sister, Ima.<br />
<br />
Don't you?kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8285598058158929014.post-91762904192201530082012-03-08T10:35:00.002-05:002012-03-08T10:49:59.150-05:00Extending the greeting card<span class="body">This seemed totally random when I saw this Uta Hagen quote on a greeting card:</span><br />
<span class="body"><br /></span><br />
<span class="body">"We must overcome the notion that we must be
regular... "</span><br />
<span class="body"><br /></span><br />
<span class="body">Yeah, I know some people who only take dumps two or three times a week, and they are perfectly happy.</span>kayesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10342429421120194044noreply@blogger.com0