Where's the comma?

Angry man into his cell phone:

Who do you think I am? Anthony Stupid?

So who the hell is Anthony Stupid?

Emergency notification absurdity

I should've taken a picture.

Engraved onto the push bar of the glass doors it said "for use in an emergency pull."

So does that mean I can push when it's not an emergency?"

I'm working on it but it's not done yet

Working title for a new laugh riot:

Ron Konkoma meets Brewster North for a drink at the East Side Access Bar.

It's all in jokes for the outbound commuter.

Of course nowadays half of them are looking at their electronic devices and the other half are asleep.